The only thing worse
than bad memories
is no memories at all..
[The Dismemberment Plan]





[Archives]

November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
May 2008





[Features]

[x] College Blog
[x] My Friend Turdy
[x] New Swimmysuit
[x] Prom Nightmare
[x] When Pastors Attack
[x] Enemas and Douchebags





[Happy cam]
(mouse-over)


shut yo mouth.





[Guestbook]

Peek/Sign





[Contact]

click me or die. please satiate my need for validation. 

do it. 

now.







July 28, 2002  

Kick off your shoes and relax your socks



Okay kids.
You may be in for a rather long post tonight.

First of all, recently, I've noticed that my eyesight is getting really, really bad. This is probably due to the fact that I spend way too much time on the computer.. I have a laptop, and it is not uncommon for me to actually wake up in the morning with my face on the keyboard and five IM's filled with text like "WE3lHaI*{H$HHfjsda;*#WN*#((@)(IHTFG" and a whole slew of popup ads for animal bukkake and tentacle sex porn filling up my screen and multiplying.
Today, on the way home from work, I seriously mistook a mailbox for a girl holding a puppy.
When I was visiting NYU, I thought that a woman was walking her puppy, when it was really a pigeon following her.
Well, I guess it's not really my eyesight then if I keep thinking that everything looks like a puppy..
I want a puppy. ):

Anyway, I was going to whip up a huge post last night after the Weezer (!!!!!!!!) show, but I fell asleep not too long after I got into bed and curled up with my laptop.
Anyway, IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING.
Rivers said that our show at the Camden (Philly) Tweeter Center was the biggest Weezer concert in the WORLD!
The fellas I went with said that it probably wasn't true, but it actually is!
Wow. :D
Anyway, Weezer has gotten a lot of shit for the Green album.. but at this show, they played ALL Blue/Pinkerton songs except for about 5 songs!!
They even ended with "Only in Dreams," which was unbelievable..
They played all of their good songs, like My Name Is Jonas, El Scorcho, In the Garage, Good Life, Buddy Holly..
This concert blew me away, completely. COMPLETELY.

Hoo boy.

A few people attending the concert inspired me to write them letters.
Like so:


Dear Emo/Punk Boy,
    You were wearing a pair of purple plaid capri pants with a size XXXXXXXXXSmall hoodie. You either outgrew those clothes in kindergarten or stole them from your little sister's closet.
    What the fuck is wrong with you?
          Sexily Yours,
          Patreesha <3


Dear Twitchy Boy Who Stood in Front of Us in Line for the Port-A-Potty
    Thank you for peeing all over the seat.
          Sexily Yours,
          Patreesha <3


Dear Girl Who Fell Off the Dumpster Where All the Guys Were Peeing,
    It would've been funnier if you fell into the enormous puddle of piss that was accumulating.
    But it was still pretty fucking funny.
          Sexily Yours,
          Patreesha <3


The End.


Hey, y'wanna see something cool?
After the show, I got KARL'S AUTOGRAPH!!!!!!
Yes, Karl of Karl's Corner!!!!

Czech it out!

<3<3<3 KARL LOVE <3<3<3



Yes, it would've been a lot better if I had pictures of the actual SHOW, but we weren't allowed to bring cameras in.
Sigh.
But it was still awesome. No doubt. Yo. Homies. Mos def.
d:-) (That's a backwards hat, dummy. Hee!)

Funny story,
I was working last night, when this guy comes in.
He was really tall, had a shaved head, thick plastic glasses..

He looked like...

PAT WILSON THE DRUMMER FROM WEEZER!!!!!!!


.... THIS!!!!

So I freaked out, ran out of the store, figuring since they'd just played a show in Camden, NJ, maybe they'd decided to stick around for a day, buy some drinks (and a pack of Marlboro Lights, according to Amanda the cashier).. y'know??
But the parking lot search was to no avail, and I made an ass out of myself a few times when I approached a few cars, squinting (again, the eyesight deterioration) at the driver.. A few times I got some bewildered people staring back at me from inside their cars..
But no Pat.

During my break, I called Anthony.. and he said that Pat was supposed to play a show in Maryland in about an hour..
So, welp, yea, I guess it wasn't him.
I'm just a crazy retard.

Oh well.


HEY LOOK!!!!!

HOT GUYSSSSSSSSS!!! :D:D:D


<3<3<3


Hehe.. Aww.. Aren't they cute?!?!

Okay, I know that I'm a bit behind in the world of internet trends, but I watched the YATTA video for the FIRST TIME last night.
WOW.
If you haven't seen it, I have no words to describe it.
Just EXPERIENCE it. Oh man.
Oh. MAN.


Lastly,

<3<3<3


Anthony got this for me in NY.. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Yay! :D


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 12:37 AM


  Hey kids.

Fun post coming, I swear.

Right now, I am trying not to fall asleep on top of my laptop.....

Mmmm..notworkingitsalmost colsingtime


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 12:36 AM


July 23, 2002  

Meat 4 Sale



CVS is using me for cheap child labor.

I can feel my childhood slipping through the cracks of time like sand through a spaghetti strainer.
No longer will I be able to pass a summer away on a grassy hill looking at the clouds dancing about in the sky above..
No longer will I be able to catch fireflies in mason jars (not that I really did/would anyway.. Eww, bugs! Eww, ew, ew.) late at night..

Now, I have to restock cartons of CVS brand Hemmerhoid Cream for $6.25 an hour.

On a lighter note, however, guess what!

Guess who just celebrated its 65th Anniversary recently?!?!?!!

GUESS; I DARE YOU.

No, you're wrong.


CLICK HERE FOR JIGGLY PINK EXCITEMENT!!!!

SPAM!!!!!!



Ah, Spam, how I love thee.
My childhood is filled with memories of eating that stuff... whatever it was, anyway..


Jesus Christ, what the hell is this?!:



SPAM MOBILE!!!! Beep beep!


Final thought:
While watching a slew of training videos at CVS, it occurred to me how useless and hilarious those videos really are.
Here's the best quote.

"This is the best job.. Even for people who have no idea what they're doing!"

My childhood.. being whored away by CVS...

Sigh.


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 12:18 AM


July 17, 2002  

OH GOD IT HURTS



So today, I spent 5+ hours in direct sunlight at the beach. I was attempting to even out my (farmer's) tan, so I just put on sunblock on my face and arms.
This summer is my first time actually wearing a two-piece type swimsuit to the beach, so I was pretty eager to rid myself of my white, white stomach.
So I laid out in the sun.
With no sunscreen on, but for my face and arms.
And now I'm red and ouchy!!
It seriously looks like I'm wearing white hot pants, but I am most definitely not.

Good LORD!
I've been sitting at home in front of an oscillating fan, covered in lotion.
This is quite the peculiar sensation. I've never been burned, I don't think, but I'm pretty sure this is it.
Damn.

The beach that Anthony and I went to, Manasquan, seemed kind of off-kelter to me..
The few times that I've been down there, I noticed that there was no more than ONE minority family on the whole crowded beach. It was an odd, odd feeling.
It was filled with white people.
Not that I have a problem with white people.
But they were ALL. White. People.

Anthony got a cheeseburger at a little place by the boardwalk, and I asked him what kind of cheese it was.
He said:
"White American."

Ah-HA!
"White American"?
Yeah, I see what kind of place this is.... Heh heh..

The water was really rough.. it was so crazy!
This one huge wave literally whipped our bathing suits off!!!!
LITERALLY!!!!
Thank goodness I was still underwater by the time I got it back on, but it was the 10 scariest seconds of my life when my bathing suit bottom was down by my ankles, inside out.
:O:O:O

Goddamnit, this sunburn hurts.
I would kill for something aloe right now.
Absolutely kill.

Hehe.. Hey look what Anthony won at the arcade!!

CLIFFORD!!! :D


Aww... :D:D:D Isn't he cute?

Hehe.. be sure to czech out MR. SLANT!!!
Funny, funny, hot Korean guy. He's awesome. :D:D:D

On another note, there seems to be an anti-me person, "PJ," who has left a few rather unpleasant comments here.
Sure, I appreciate the fact that all people will have their own opinions. If you don't like me, it's cool.
But still. It kinda pissed me off. Just a little.
Says PJ,
"yea cuz hidious people are hard not to look at" and "guys will drool over anything with tits...so very sad."

Gosh, girls are so mean sometimes.

PSH! No way, chica. No you di-IN'T!!


But, again, yeah, it's alright.

..

=(




Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 12:50 AM


July 14, 2002  

Ho hum..



I just updated my college blog.
My college-visiting time is, for the time being, over. Thank goodness.

Whew. Here's something cool though:



I'm in front of Tom's Restaurant, the place that Seinfeld used to go to on his show.
Cool, huh? :D

Being the huge, huge dork that I am, I decided to jump on the internet-trend wagon and join the masses in becoming a T-Shirt Ninja!

Czech it out. Here's an exemplary case of T-Shirt Ninja-ness.
This is Samn.

HOT!


Notice the intense, sexy glare and the poised stance, as well as his huge, long, stiff .. sword in his hands.
I said SWORD, dammit.

Now here is mine. It's awfully pathetic compared to Samn's.



Booooooo. =(


Gosh. I wish I weren't such a huge loser.

:p


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 9:15 PM


July 11, 2002  

College-ness



Since I posted up so many pictures from visiting colleges these past two days, it was taking a helluva long time for this page to open... to I made a separate site for that! :D

Czech it out. If you don't, here's a taste of what you're missing:

Mm... toddicecream..


Hehe bye!


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 3:41 AM


July 10, 2002  

The HORROR..
Part II



I went to Bradley Beach today in search of my lovely little boy, Danny Dumonster, super-roadie of the amazing and uber-babealicious punk band Worthless United. I was frolicking about in my new swimsuit, when it started to rain. A lot.

And then all of a sudden, it was like a scene from an episode of Doctor Who..
Everything went gray for 1/2 a second, and I thought a wave had hit me or something.. but after that 1/2 a second passed, I realized that it had been a bolt of lightning!!!!
A lot of other people felt it, too, so I guess it just hit that whole area we were in or something..
Craziness..

Freaky shit.

I didn't even get to see Danny, either. :/

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow with these weird superpowers.
Maybe I'll be able to heal leprosy, solve mysteries, and fly..
.. Kind of like Jesus.

Or maybe I'll wake up tomorrow blind and paralyzed.

HAHAAAAHA..

:/


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 12:12 AM


July 6, 2002  

Armor For Sleep



Holy shit!

I met Ben, the singer from Armor For Sleep last night!!!!!!!!
Holy crap.
You may remember me going on and on about him in my past post here...
He looked cuter than ever!!!!!!!!
Sigh.
He did that cute thing again, where he tilted his head sideways, closed his eyes, and made his hair swish in his eyes when he played and sang..

<3<3<3

I think I kinda freaked him out though, because I pretty much flipped out every time he came within a 5 foot radius of me.. Hehe.. Wow... WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!! HE HUGGED ME! WOW!!!

I took a bunch of pictures, hopefully this time I won't fuck up the film like the last time (see that past post)..

I love that band so much. They play with so much energy, and I love their songs....

WOWWOWWOWWOWWOW!!!!!!

*Cough*

Heee! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

On another note, the lovely Mandrake sent in this bootiful rendition as well.. :D

YARGLEMUFFIN!!!! >:O


Lastly, I spent about two hours here: Demian5.com.
It's an online comic story called "When I Am King"... It's so so great.. Definitely czech it out.
I found it through my happy happy Spider..

YAY!! BEN!!!! :D:D:D:D

"I could speak 'til the world ends
to make up for all that I left out.."

- [ Armor For Sleep ]



Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 9:34 AM


July 3, 2002  

Peachy Beachy



Hi.

This is not a real post. Just pictures.

I got a new swimsuit!

Czech it out.

First, here's the old one.

Bleh.


And the new:

Heyy! Remember my Santana drawing? =) Howdy. MIRROR BUTT!!!!


And now, your moment of Zen:

Major difference: my lack of.. 'boobage'.. =/ vs. Whoah!


Yes. I have a big picture of Mickey Mouse in my room. =)

Man, when I was trying that thing on today, this stocky, 30-40ish, apparently lesbian employee at Old Navy kept HITTING ON ME in the freaking dressing room..
She kept rattling the door and jingling her keys, squawking, "C'mon now, let me see it..!! I'M COMING IN THEERRRREEE!!!!! I'M OPENING THE DOOR!!"
And she kept banging on the door and guffawing..
Jesus Christ.
That was some freaky shit.
She looked like a scary little dwarf man. =(

The end.

Update: Oh! I almost forgot..!
In response to someone's Flooble, which said:

[anonymous]: Photoshop your head onto peppermint patty or peppermint pattys head on your body or your head and pattys head patty peppermint head shop photo impose peanuts

Anthony whipped this bad boy up:

YEEHAW!



"I have Morroccan dental floss that's more expensive than your entire wardrobe."
"WHAT? This is an OFFICIAL LOONEY TUNES jacket!!!!"

I love old Saturday Night Live reruns....

Buh. Bye. =D


Dancing Banana strikes again!!!!! Patreesha the banana danced at 4:34 PM


 

This site is copyrighted by Patricia [2001-2002].
Steal my shit and I'll laugh at you. My shit sucks. :D

Patreesha love blogger long time!